Hobby Blogger Guilt

Sunday, 18 November 2018

This post has been lurking around in the back of my mind for a while now, so I guess its time to get it out there. There is so much I could say on this matter so this could easily turn into a bit of a ramble, but bear with me, it'll make sense. Blogging has blown up, there's so many people doing it now and it can be really hard to find yourself, specially while being distracted by everyone reaching their "goals" and "doing better" than you. I know I was getting a little downhearted by it, but there was literally no need, because I'm a hobby blogger.

I've taken a step back from blogging recently, partly because I wasn't enjoying it, I also didn't have the time & well...life. In that time I've had a real think about what I'm doing and why I'm doing this, was there need for the pressure? why was I feeling like I didn't match up to others? Am I even being noticed at all? I quickly squashed all of these thoughts because I know exactly what I'm doing and why. Blogging is my hobby. Work, studying & life in general will always come first because blogging isn't something I want to turn into a job. I blog when I have a minute & when I feel like it. There's nothing worse than staring at a screen trying to sound chatty & upbeat when in reality you're not feeling it in the slightest. I was making myself feel guilty for not sticking to a schedule, not being present on social media & not being the happy chatty person I was because I did not have the time or energy for it. There's a few things that were making me rethink blogging completely & why I was feeling this way, so here they are.

Scheduled & Frequent posting

I mean, everyone has got this on their mind. Knowing when they should post, feeling bad for skipping a scheduled day or spending a free day getting ready for the week ahead.

I slowly started to creep away from insta because it was becoming a bit draining and honestly  forceful, there's days when I legit had fuck all to say or couldn't really be arsed but still went ahead and posted and guess what? It flopped.
I had some how got it into my head that I needed to post everyday, I needed a theme, I needed to work hard at it but that isn't the case for me. 

I was trying to bash out as many blog posts as I could on my one day off because I post on wednesday & sundays. A couple of times I even opted to write blog posts instead of essays I needed to finish because I had already missed a day.

I was genuinely putting unnecessary pressure on myself. One day I had a bit of a paddy and it was like a light bulb moment, I don't need to do any of this, this isn't going to be something I want to do full time, blogging is supposed to be an enjoyable hobby.

Goals & Targets

Everyone is always tweeting about hitting their goals or targets or begging everyone possible to help them get to their next milestone, I've never really done it.
It was easy to feel a little rubbish because there was all these great bloggers growing so quickly, people tweeting about how great they are and all that stuff but I wasn't one of them.

I realised early on that "goals" and "targets" to work towards wasn't for me, I was doing it as a little something fun on the side ( emphasis on the little). Yeah, of course its nice to be noticed but I'm not about to spend a chunk of my time scheduling so I had all this self promo trying to get noticed. I'm quite happy just plodding along and doing me. Setting myself goals was just added pressure which I did not need.

Content & Creativity

What some people are able to produce is honestly amazing, the creativity and thought that goes into it is unreal, which then leads me to looking at what I'm doing and questioning it all. Again, some of these people have been in blogging and content creating for many years. I haven't and what I produce will never match up to what they do.

I started to buy all this stuff to make my content look better, I wanted the fancy ass camera for the quality, I wanted to produce content that people would love, but that would take a lot more time and energy than I had. I was going to stop all together because what I was doing wasn't good enough (there's the hobby blogger guilt) but I reevaluated everything. I'm not some big full time blogger with the equipment and opportunities, I'm just little old me finding my voice online with the best I can do. And that's all it is. I don't have time to pre plan & set up these amazing shots. I have time for a little idea, a quick get together of stuff and off I pop to write about it.

Popularity in Blogging

You see people hyping others content, big conversations about what they've put out there. The follow friday's & the favourite feeds on insta as well as the blogging friendship groups and again, not in any of that.
It's easy for that to make you feel invisible, like literally no one is seeing your stuff.

These friendships can take years to build, it's friends supporting friends & because I'm not churning out the content or on social media enough to keep up with everyone's daily doings or letting everyone know what I'm doing all the time, the conversation isn't there. And you know what, some of the bigger accounts genuinely have fans waiting for the the next post.

I flutter in & out of social media, posting regularly and Instagram. I'm not prominent in the blogosphere and I haven't got people waiting for the next post and instantly retweeting it.
Because  its a hobby. Yes people read & yes I get the odd reply but I am only little & I'm happy with where I'm at.

It's so so bloody easy to knock your own confidence & compare to others. Feeling like you're not doing enough or creating decent stuff but in reality, as a hobby blogger, you do the best you can.

This is supposed to be my little thing on the side when I fancy it & I managed to not enjoy it because I was comparing to unrealistic things. Hobby blogger guilt is the worst because you somehow trick yourself into thinking you need to be on par with all these people, churn out all these post and be a delight on social media. Sometimes it just isn't realistic.

I'm happy posting sporadically, chucking things up when I've had an idea and post what ever I feel like without scrutinising myself because this isn't my job and it's never going to be.

Emily-May x

1 comment:

  1. I totally get it.. I would love to have a more successful blog but the truth is that mine is a hobby and I just don't have the time to dedicate to it to make it anything else. And when I try to force myself to be more productive the fun goes out of it. We just need to get the right balance... and as Buddhists say, comparison is hell. We just need to do what we can and want to do, not what we think we need to do to be like someone else.