Chatty Catch up #1

Sunday, 7 October 2018

Well, life has been pretty turbulent lately in all aspects, so I took a step back from blogging to give myself a minute & take the pressure off as I felt like I had zero time for anything. After not regularly blogging for a while I've started to miss it. It's my safe place, I can just sit and write about anything & everything, while also feeling a bit better for actually getting something done. As I've been a little off radar lately I thought I'd start off with a chatty catch up, which I've never actually done, thinking that this will help me get back into it. We'll, here's hoping anyway. 

For a while now, I've had a lot on my plate & a lot of it is still going on in the background but I thought it would be a good idea to try and get into the habit of having an hour to half hour before bed to myself to read, because I couldn't actually remember the last time I had done that.
So off to Amazon I went and ordered a whole lot of books while there was an offer on. So far I've finished This is Going to Hurt and I've now recommended it to everyone possible because it is such a good read, I've now moved onto How to be Happy, it took me a little while to get into it but so far so good.
Making sure I have that little time has really made a difference & I've actually had the chance to wind down before going to sleep.

Now moving on to a stress factor in my life, studying. Genuinely feel like that's all I've been doing lately along side work. I've never been the best with this kind of thing, concentration is an issue & then I get all worked up, so I'm trying to not pressurise myself to do too much in one go. The only time I really have to do all these essays are my days off, which are normally sandwiched in between 13 hour shift & some times, I just don't have the energy. I'm now doing bits of work here & there with the odd full day in front of the screen. Hence the lack of blog posts.
As much as I'm trying to manage my time better & not stress myself out, I'm now nearing the end of this course. So I have a fair few more essays to go & then it's on to mock exams & writing a 10,000 word portfolio (why so big though??). I'll be finishing just in time to apply to go straight on to more training. yay....

If I'm honest, it's been a bit of a rough year all in all but it's all kinda caught up with me at the same time. Some people have understood what's been going on, some not so much, but that's life I suppose.
Luckily, I do have good people in my life when I need them, including Bex. We've both been under the weather so I sent her a little care package & then she returned the favour, with face masks of course. So now were stuck in this loop of continuous gifting, worse things have happened though!

Unluckily for me, stress is a trigger for my seizures. I haven't had a Tonic Clonic seizure in around 4-5 years, well, that was until August. I had my first seizure in years in front of loads of people as I was waiting for the bus home, luckily I was with a nurse that I work with & everyone tried to help in some way but my god, did it hurt. I spent the majority of the next week in bed recovering, it effected me in every way it could. Physically, mentally & visibly, you could literally see that my body hadn't recovered for a few days as it's like all my limbs go out of sync & I couldn't walk as fluidly as I normally would.
I had put off training to be a nurse & redoing my driving as well as a few other bits for years because I never felt 100% and I had finally got there after a few years, I felt like old Emily after years of medication changes as well as seizures on the odd occasion & then bam, Epilepsy is back with a vengeance. I'll admit, I was inconsolable once my mum had got me home the day it happened but I thought about it the next couple of days & didn't want to see having a seizure after years as starting all over again.
My meds were upped, which has taken me a while to get used to & I'm still not completely there, but I'm good.

So basically, life has been a bit of a shitter. I thought I'd get it all off my chest & maybe this post will explain why I've been dipping in & out over the past few months.
I have a list as long as my arm of posts I want to write & ones I really need to. I promise they will all be a bit more up beat from now on!

Emily-May x

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